We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
