You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I am midnight drunk by noon
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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