I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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