Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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