just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
