But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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