I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
