Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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