I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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