I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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