This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize