how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
