Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
