WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
