so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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