I love black thongs
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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