Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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