So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
