shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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