I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he shaved USA in his pubs
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
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