The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
