So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
