Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
