her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
