So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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