mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize