He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
