i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
the raccoons are back...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
