let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
