I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
