obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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