just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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