just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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