brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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