Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
