dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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