O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize