She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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