I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
