Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
