You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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