is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
