So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
