did you get engaged???
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize