I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize