yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I party with great urgency now.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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