You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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