butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize