You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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