I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize