I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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