im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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