I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
