She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
