You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
