Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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