i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
