Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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