I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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