It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
