I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
