just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
