try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
