Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize